I’m feeling good about this year. I’m in a groove. I’m comfortable with my classes most days. I like what i am doing and I feel like I’m doing it to the best of my ability. I don’t stress about the minor things… that much.
Fear not, this humblebrag comes to a screeching halt right now.
My beloved mentor is retiring at the end of this year. My rock, my second mom, my teaching idol in every single way is taking her much deserved retirement. I’ve put it in the back of my brain for personal reasons, but it’s come to the forefront of my professional mind.
Her team is “courting” me to move into her position. Truth be told, I think she’s been subtly grooming me for that since I began. I feel honored that a group of people I like wants me to follow her, that they think I’m capable of stepping into those iconic shoes.
But of course, it means leaving my position now. I’ve finally gotten comfortable and I’m going to throw myself into the semi-unknown? Am I insane?
The problem is that my position has changed in some way every year and there’s no guarantee it will remain the same next year or in 5 years or in 20 years. The things I like now may disappear.
The move would solidify me in a team environment, which I don’t exactly have now. There are pros and cons, obviously. Independence can be a blessing and a curse. But as someone with social anxieties and control issues, it can be a godsend. I do things my own way when I want to without answering to anyone but a really supportive boss.
It also means one grade, one curriculum. It means a co-teacher, which I’ve never had. It means stability, as much as a teacher could have, for the long term.
This is all running through my already addled mind. I planned on approaching my boss towards the end of the year to get her thoughts, but she reached out to me last week. Just that tells me exactly what she wants me to do, though she said she would back any decision I make.
Never get too comfortable, never settle in, always keep your shoes on. That’s how teaching goes.